Waiting on Miracle Max

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Ok, so I am going to get some stuff out and I have no idea how it's going to sound.

I am excited, scared, jealous, anxious, you name it, for Lizz to take Max home. My sister is a mommy. She has most definitely paid her dues and earned her wings. I know how excited I was to bring my sweet baby girl home with me. I loved the attention...not on me, but on this amazing little thing I had made with the person I love most in this world. I loved that my family thought she was just as much of a gift as I did.

I am so hesitant that my not-so-little-gift (aka Faith) is going to make it harder for me to be as available to my sister to help when she needs it most, something that Lizz did when I brought Faith home that will stay with me forever.

I have been a bundle of emotions all week. I hear a song with the word "home" in it, and I well up. I love being a mother. I love the good days, I love the bad days (only cuz we've made it through them!). I love teaching Faith everything I know. I love sitting up at night talking with Jason about the what-ifs associated with child-rearing. I love thinking my child will be able to do anything she sets her mind to because I will encourage her to be strong and persevere. I love the thought that Faith will get to grow up on the same side of the country as her cousin (at least for the time being and I hope for many many years!). I love that Faith knows who Max is and I can't wait until the day she is propped in the corner of the couch "holding" him. I've dreamt of that day for almost as long as I have of myself holding Faith. Not only is that a big moment for Faith, is it for our entire family as it means my sister is a mother, the joy of all joys.

Seeing Max in the hospital without all the wires and tubes was amazing. I felt like he was not a little sicky anymore. He was snuggleable, kissable, reachable, and ready to come home. (not that he wasn't before, it's just harder with the tubes n' junk). He has no idea what he's in for.

We love you Max. We love you Jamie. We love you Lizz... all three of you, for loving one another, staying strong when it sucked, keeping positive in the depths, and for making us even more of a family.

I'll stop rambling now.